My mom probably thinks I’m a bad person

I’m having some friends from my old masters program over to my house. It’s a potluck so I made a spreadsheet, and people would be free to put them down whatever they would like to bring. There’s a guy that I like that’s coming. His name is Andy. I think Andy likes me. A few months ago, he bought me a bouquet of pink roses for my birthday.

However, there aren’t many guys in our class, and there’s a girl “Sandy” that I get worried that Andy likes instead. There’s no clear signs of this. It’s just because they’re friends, and she’s single and attractive. I’m also single and attractive, but I’m also extremely socially awkward, something that Sandy doesn’t have an issue with.

So anyway, I’m showing my mom the spreadsheet of all my friends that are coming. I noticed that Sandy puts her name down. So I say to my mom “oh my gosh, I was hoping that bitch wasn’t coming”. And I know it’s wrong. I was just really hoping not to have to worry about her. I didn’t want to tell my mom why I was threatened, but she kept pressing me.