In my feels when buying childrens clothes

I just want to get this off my chest. Honestly I haven't really had a lot of baby fever lately. Recently I bought some christmas presents for my friends new baby. I just got all the longing for my own child. Just the little feet, and head. My emotions just blew off the roof. How much I can't wait to actually buys those clothing for MY OWN baby. I try to conquer my emotion by being a good "aunt" for my friends children. Making cookies and just spoiling them for christmas.

I can not wait for that day. But it is so weird because you know when you want to get pregnant but aren't actively trying the thought of being pregnant and having a child is so abstract and vulnerable because you know, it is not really set in stone that you will ever get there. Ofcourse you dream and hope. But it's like a state of life that noone is guaranteed. And that is so vulnerable. I guess I just want to know how do you deal with those fears and emotions?