Actually dealing with tantrums

Hi everyone,

Our 22 month old has entered the berserker phase of his development.

This morning as an example he woke up in a tantrum that lasted until we dropped him off at nursery 90 minutes later.

Nothing had any lasting impact on caling him down and why he woke up in such a state I do not know.

Advice online and in books says to not ignore him but to engage with verbal cues (I understand you're angry/frustrated etc, I'm here when you need me) and to offer choices (would you like a banana or some porridge?) but none of these seem to have any effect once he's in his rage spiral (which is basically from 0-100 instantly).

So, without having to just watch him writhe endlessly on the floor or freak out when he gets picked up, what can me and my wife really do? I don't want to give in to whatever it is he wants so he has a pathway to victory that he can deploy each time but we also can't spend an indeterminate length of time allowing such an unproductive (and potentially destructive) set of behaviours.

Any advice is appreciated.