Toddler mean towards mother after new baby arrives

Hello,

I'm a mom of a toddler and a newborn, and I’m hoping to find some solidarity here. My situation seems a bit different from what I often read about—my toddler has been downright mean and distant towards me since our newborn came home. I know the more common challenge is toddlers being aggressive toward the new baby, but my toddler’s aggression is all directed at me. He isn’t acting out toward the baby or his dad—just me.

I’m a stay-at-home mom and was with him 24/7 before the baby arrived. He always favored me and would only want me for everything—whether it was getting a snack or being taken out of his highchair, it was always "Mommy." Since the baby came, though, he acts like I’m invisible. He screams “no” at me, won’t make eye contact, hits me, and just seems to want nothing to do with me.

I’m breastfeeding, and my newborn cluster feeds a lot, so she’s on me constantly. As a result, my husband has taken over a lot of the toddler duties, and I’m still recovering from a C-section. I’ve been doing everything I can think of to make my toddler feel special—scheduling one-on-one time with him every day, involving him in helping with the baby, explaining what’s going on, and trying to reassure him. But nothing seems to be working.

I know this is likely his way of processing the change, and I understand he’s hurt, but it still hurts me deeply. I’m trying to stay strong in front of him, but it’s really hard. It feels so isolating, and I just need to hear from anyone who’s been through this. I feel like I'm the only one experiencing this, and the emotional toll is tough—especially with postpartum feelings in the mix.

Please, no negative comments. I’m already struggling, and I could really use some support from others who’ve been through something similar.

Thank you.