How to get back to my spiritual awakening

Hello! I've been struggling lately with my spirituality and how to get back to that awakened state. I feel as if I had a little breakthrough but it only lasted a few days, maybe a week. During that time my entire perspective on the world had completely changed. All of my severe anxiety and depression disappeared and I came to a lot of realizations about the ways in which your view on the world impacts your mental state. It was the first thing that "cured" me after years of searching for a solution for my mental problems. That was the happiest and most alive I have ever been in my life.

Then one day it just went away. I was back to the "real world". The anxiety and depression came back a lot stronger this time and led me to abuse substances for a while. I recently chose to give that up and become sober so I could try and get back to that state but I haven't been able to. A lot has been happening lately and almost pushed me over the edge and it really scared me into action. I am at rock bottom right now and don't really have hope for a lot but I know that more than anything that I want to get back to that state.

I was just wondering if anyone could explain why I randomly snapped into that awakened state and why I randomly snapped out of it. And if you have any advice on what I should do or try first to get myself back on that path and out of this depressive state I am in. Thank you!:)