Im not fit for this
In not fit to be silly, it literally pushing me to a silly wooden box. Im mentally ill and i know, it is terrible, to see myself like this. To know life is better than i make it be, but to be consumed by darkness.
I think i entered a psychosis or something the other day after a bad fight with my darling.. i can bearly remember the start and other than that, i like woke up 1-2 hours later idk, i felt so weak, like i could not move my body almost, i was sure i was running out of silly juice inside me. I just closed my eyes and gave up, with a silly little smile i fainted or fell asleep... Anyway i woke up next day with silly things on my wrist.. and i had aparantly contacted a friend who tries to stop me through parts of it before i just disappeared...
Im slowly loosing it, in a day il now 80% depressed or want to silly final, in my free time.. work is work there i work good or bad no matter it work.
Im lost, i will probably never get my darling who lives in a way different country with no family to help her, why did i get into a relationship halfway across the globe allmost... I love her though.. my dear
I wish i had any friends irl at all, there non, idealy my darling would be with me to hold me and we could take care of eachoter.
Anyway she has a tendency to em...... Get into hospital couse of silly.... Im so scared of looseing her. I cant tell her about my attempts, most of them i keep secret at least... She has no idea how close she is to loosing me multiple times a week.
Im unsure if il see 2025... I can probably take 2 more days.... I hope.
I wish i had the social skills to befriende others, but it sometimes feels like most of Norway hate me. We generally a country focused on personal space too so not any easier...
Is there not even 1 person who wants to garden, fish, hang out, listen to music anything with me? Im hates!
Im unsure if il wake up tomorrow
Im just a lil silly boi afterall
Im in bad back pain everyday anyway... No need to continue to feel that if i no more silly.... Or is that just too silly. Am i to silly.
In not fit to be silly, it literally pushing me to a silly wooden box. Im mentally ill and i know, it is terrible, to see myself like this. To know life is better than i make it be, but to be consumed by darkness.
I think i entered a psychosis or something the other day after a bad fight with my darling.. i can bearly remember the start and other than that, i like woke up 1-2 hours later idk, i felt so weak, like i could not move my body almost, i was sure i was running out of silly juice inside me. I just closed my eyes and gave up, with a silly little smile i fainted or fell asleep... Anyway i woke up next day with silly things on my wrist.. and i had aparantly contacted a friend who tries to stop me through parts of it before i just disappeared...
Im slowly loosing it, in a day il now 80% depressed or want to silly final, in my free time.. work is work there i work good or bad no matter it work.
Im lost, i will probably never get my darling who lives in a way different country with no family to help her, why did i get into a relationship halfway across the globe allmost... I love her though.. my dear
I wish i had any friends irl at all, there non, idealy my darling would be with me to hold me and we could take care of eachoter.
Anyway she has a tendency to em...... Get into hospital couse of silly.... Im so scared of looseing her. I cant tell her about my attempts, most of them i keep secret at least... She has no idea how close she is to loosing me multiple times a week.
Im unsure if il see 2025... I can probably take 2 more days.... I hope.
I wish i had the social skills to befriende others, but it sometimes feels like most of Norway hate me. We generally a country focused on personal space too so not any easier...
Is there not even 1 person who wants to garden, fish, hang out, listen to music anything with me? Im hates!
Im unsure if il wake up tomorrow
Im just a lil silly boi afterall
Im in bad back pain everyday anyway... No need to continue to feel that if i no more silly.... Or is that just too silly. Am i to silly.