My boyfriend M21 thinks I’m F20 unattractive .

Am I F20 insane for thinking that my boyfriend M21,thinks I’m ugly? My and my boyfriend have been together a little over a year now, we live together and have two pets! Over the course of our relationship he has been a lot of my first including my first time, which resulted in a scare. So I go on birth control just in case. Over the last 6-7 months I’ve put on about 60 pounds in weight. I know it’s a lot I’ve been trying every thing to get rid of it in-unit eating at all. Well today my boyfriend walked in on me while I was changing looked at me and walked away. I followed him and he said “you need to get of that birth control” I asked why but he wouldn’t answer. I said bc of my body. And he gave a look, and look I know means yes. We don’t get intimate much anymore because I hate the way I look. I didn’t eat dinner and he didn’t even ask anything ate his and went on his way. He then said he was going to go to the store it might take 40 minutes. I said okay knowing the store is 3 minutes away. I know he thinks I’m ugly and won’t admit it.