Something I noticed about popular people that my nparents never allowed for me

Throughout middle and high school, I noticed that the kids who were considered popular and had lots of friends shared one thing in common: they were always, always allowed to spend time with their friends. Whether it be going to each other's houses after school, getting food together, or going on beach trips, there was never a dull moment for them. Unlike me, these people rarely went straight home after school and just sat there for the rest of the day. Most days, they were living their teenage years to the fullest, building their social skills, and making new friends left and right in the process. And contrary to my parents' beliefs, these kids weren't the stereotypical partying/drinking popular kids who got into trouble and did reckless things for fun. In fact, pretty much all of them were actually extremely academically driven and high-achieving, and they were still able to spend time with their tons of friends and actually be a kid. And their parents never seemed to mind, because they weren't narcissists and didn't treat their children like property.

I had a really tough time making and keeping friends during my teenage years, and even though it's become less of a problem nowadays, I still struggle with it sometimes. Thinking back on it, I can't help but wonder if my strict, overbearing upbringing had something to do with it. For me, there was never the option of just casually telling my parents I would be hanging out with a friend after school. I always had to beg and convince them to let me do it, and even when they said yes, they would be in a pissy mood with me for the rest of the day, as if I had wronged them somehow. Every time I went out and had fun with people, I would always have to lie to them about what I was doing. I could never freely have fun because every attempt at doing so would just turn into another game of "where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing? Don't ever let me catch you doing that again, you little shit." I had zero independency. I was rarely allowed to take public transportation or walk anywhere by myself, even at 17-18. I couldn't even spend my own money on anything without them getting mad at me for it. And God forbid I ever came home with a drink in my hand or something I had bought on a shopping trip because that would lead to an entire interrogation and shaming session. The ironic part is that my parents would always make fun of me for having no friends and never spending time with people, despite it being pretty much entirely their fault. To this day, I still don't understand why socialization always felt like such a taboo subject in my family, but it was, and I constantly had to walk on eggshells whenever it came up.