I might end my life tomorrow

I’m over it. I gambled a significant amount and lost huge on these 2/3 spy $595/$594 put credit spreads. I posted about them yesterday, and was inundated with comments that were less than kind. But I guess I deserved it.

I am a failure. I’m not a bad person, but there’s nothing I can do at this point to redeem myself. Right now I’m looking at a max loss of $90,000.

Currently considering my options, if you can imagine what that means. Please hug those you love tightly and don’t fall victim to the evil I have.

Edit: I truly appreciate the posts but it’s really hard to see this through. The 90k loss is not all. My total losses will be around 250k. I am not more than a lousy gambler. I just hate to make my family feel pain.