THEY DID SURGERY ON ME WITH NO ANAESTHETIC

The procedure was a hysteroscopy with a biopsy. They were checking for cancer. They offered me general anaesthetic but it'd have to be months later. I didn't want cancer to be sitting in me for that long. I was so scared but went for it, just in case it'd save my life.

In some places they only ever do the procedure under general. I had local on my cervix only. I'm glad they did that part, but they cut into other places and I felt it. I don't know how it's still legal here. Sexism, probably. It was painful and really scary but towards the end the pain suddenly stopped- I think it's because I had the biggest adrenaline rush I've ever felt when I got cut for the biopsy. I could feel the vibrations through my body of the sample being sawed- I actually thought it was audible to everyone but later found out it wasn't. How insane is that! Afterwards I felt fine in myself, relieved it was over, but I was weirdly confused and so dizzy I had trouble standing, and randomly had bouts of feeling sick for a while. I had pain from it that lasted around a week. I also had muscle pain through my whole body, as if I did a crazy workout, for a few days. I think I must've tensed up very hard during the procedure.

It was wild. I had a friend there who said I looked like shit afterwards, haha. The doctor wasn't very sympathetic but the nurses were great. There was blood and they did their best to hide it from me, but I saw some and my friend apparently saw a lot more.

The doctor offhandedly mentioned I handled the procedure well, and that really stuck with me. I gasped and yelled more than once and asked them to stop at one point. I thought I wasn't handling it well at all! Who ever would?!

Genuinely, it was like living in a horror movie. It looked like a horror movie set, it felt like a horror movie... in the end, I didn't even have cancer. :') I'm very lucky.

It's been a month now. I just... can't believe that happened. I've been reading up on this procedure since- people get PTSD from it. There are petitions and movements to stop it happening. Support groups. Gruesome articles on the barbarity. I can absolutely see why.

I never used to be able to call myself hardcore. Now though I think I can. 😎

EDIT: Oh wow. There are stories of this surgery far worse than mine in the comments, and many more comments from people who are shocked this happens. I hope it's been cathartic for some and enlightening for others, and overall it was a good thing to do to post here. Thanks everyone. 💖