how do you guys cope with the pain?

has been about 6 months since my diagnosis. i really wouldnt mind if my ibs was a cheeky little diarrhoea but the pain is bothering me so much when it comes to flare ups its unbareable i want to cry or curl up into a ball and die my absolute fear is being in public when a flare up happens. because im all new to this, any tips? is such bad pain normal?