I asked ChatGPT to write a fanfic.

Scene: The music studio apartment. Kurt, Rachel, and Santana are sprawled out on the couch, Chinese takeout boxes scattered around them. They’re sipping from large cups of soda and watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The room has the usual cozy vibe, with instruments in the background.

Kurt: (chomping on some fried rice) Okay, I’m just saying, I would die for Kim’s closet.

Rachel: (using chopsticks to grab some lo mein) I just don’t get it. I mean, they’re rich, but it’s like… are we supposed to admire their drama? It’s all just… messy.

Santana: (grinning, holding a fortune cookie in one hand and a dumpling in the other) Rachel, this is the whole point. They own the mess. If I had their life, I’d make my messy moments into an art form.

Kurt: (mock serious, holding up his chopsticks like a mic) Seriously, Santana’s right. You don’t become a Kardashian unless you embrace the chaos. Look at how Kim turned a tape into a career. Like, I want that kind of grit.

Rachel: (laughing) I’m still not convinced. I think I’d rather stick to my Broadway roles than become a reality TV star.

Kurt: (laughing, taking a bite of egg roll) Broadway’s great and all, but imagine having your own fragrance line like Kim. Kim Kardashian’s Broadway—I mean, it’s an empire waiting to happen!

Santana: (snickers, tossing her fortune cookie into the air) You could totally do it, Kurt. Just slap your name on a bottle of cologne and boom—instant Kardashian. All you need is a camera crew following you around.

Rachel: (shaking her head but grinning) Oh, I can totally see Kurt with a Kurt brand fragrance. But like, would it smell like… musical theater and drama?

Kurt: (snapping his fingers as if he’s just had a brilliant idea) Yes! It would smell like velvet, jazz hands, and just a hint of Broadway glitter.

Santana: (mocking) Mmm, so classy.

Kurt: (dramatically) Oh, and I’d need an over-the-top launch party, of course. Maybe at a private mansion, with a red carpet, and a dance-off between me and Kim.

Rachel: (laughing, grabbing more lo mein) This is a lot more realistic than I thought it’d be. I’d love to see you fight Kim for the spotlight, Kurt.

Santana: (holding up her dumpling in mock toast) To Kurt’s eventual Kardashian takeover. It’s only a matter of time.

Kurt: (grinning as he dips a spring roll into sauce) I’ll take it! But seriously, can we talk about how much drama is happening right now on this show? This is next-level.

Rachel: (with wide eyes) Wait, did Khloé just kick someone out of the house? I need her level of confidence in my life.

Santana: (nodding, eyes glued to the TV) Right? Khloé’s a queen. I’ve been trying to channel her energy for years.

Kurt: (pauses, holding his takeout box like it’s a trophy) I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand the Kardashians before, but now? Now, I’m all in.

Rachel: (munching on some sesame chicken) Maybe… maybe I could use their energy for my next big audition.

Santana: (smirking) Honey, you’d be unstoppable. Just throw on some high heels and start practicing your selfie game.

Kurt: (leaning back on the couch, wiping his hands on a napkin) You know, if I got my own reality show, I’d need to get a Kris Jenner type on my team to manage my life and chaos.

Rachel: (raising an eyebrow) So we’re just going to make ourselves into Kardashians now?

Santana: (laughing) Why not? We’re practically halfway there—let’s just make it official!

Kurt: (grinning, clinking his takeout box against theirs) To our future Kardashian-esque empire.

Santana: (raising her soda) We might just be the next big thing.

They all laugh, continuing to eat their Chinese takeout while watching the chaos unfold on TV, thoroughly invested in the world of the Kardashians.

End Scene.