I've been feeling depressed?

Not sure if anyone will see this but I'm 16 and I'm a girl and I've been really depressed lately I got raped at 7 and have been really struggling with it and my dad was abusive growing up one time he gave me a black eye and im older now and ive been feeling really isolated I have a really hard time socializing with my peers and ive never really used reddit before it's more of a last resort I don't know what to do to get myself back on track lately I've been losing interest in all the things I used to love to do and im getting bad at the things I used to be good at I've started to distance myself from my mom and siblings I've been struggling to keep my room clean and keep my grades up and I've been feeling really useless it feels like no one needs me I've been praying to God I prayed that better days would come I prayed to have a friend I started saying grace before I eat but I still feel really empty I'm so ugly too all my siblings are beautiful and I'm the only ugly one I feel like my mom is starting to dislike me because of my lack of helping around the house but I've been trying my best her boyfriend used to hit her and I'd have to see it last time he hit her I had to wipe the blood of the floor and it really hurts my heart because no matter what I love my mom but I've just been feeling like I'm in such a dark place I keep thinking things would be so much easier if id just disappear and im trying so hard to over come this feeling but I can't I just need advice on what to do how to occupy my time before I do something that I can't undo