CMV: Your average man experiences far more isolation, rejection and insecurity in the hookup/dating scene then a woman will.

Full disclaimer: women do have the ultimate bad experience of rape and murder being an ever present concern when dating.

That being said, I feel it would go a long way to helping things between genders if women would acknowledge that they have the luxury of being passive when and sorting through potential offers while most men not blessed with a conventionally attractive face have to go through physically grueling work of putting on muscle and losing weight to get even 1/10th of the attention your average woman gets on Tinder or Bumble or Hinge.

Even fat girls, who are often cited as the example against this, are in my anecdotal experience still doing better then me an average looking, non muscled but in shape guy. If you don’t have some muscle mass then you need to hire a professional photographer to get the best lighting and angles for your dating profile because women have a lot to choose from and unless you stand out you’ll be passed over.

Women often cite the first word problem of having 1000 options but nobody worth picking and how discouraging that can be but at least you know you’re wanted. There are large stretches of time in the year when you’re getting rejected over and over again when you wonder if you’re attractive at all.

And this is is without a woman presenting herself to me as a potential partner.

I’ll acknowledge this: women have the “struggle” of forcing themselves to get ready for another possible bad date with real human beings while men have to motivate themselves to go out to nothing and likely come home with nothing for long stretches of time until by dint of fate or luck you find a woman willing to meet for a ONS or for a date. Men don’t have the luxury of complaining about how women’s openers to them are lame. Men are expected to be the ones with the openers.

The very things women complain about in terms of dating, is actually used as a form of motivating for men in the dating world. “Every failed meetup or rejection is getting you closer to a match. It’s just a numbers game.”

Well in women’s case the numbers are in their favor. If you’re a semi attractive woman you have no problem getting matches or men approaching you, it’s finding rhe right one that’s the issue. Men have to find women to approach, get their number then hope they actually like you and not that you misinterpreted friendliness with flirting and that she gave you her number because she was afraid you’d make a scene. And then hope they actually click as a couple.

Men have to go through patches where they’re the “ugly guy” bothering two women at a bar with unreciprocated interest. For the women it’s understandable, I don’t expect them to show interest and attraction where there is none and it must be annoying to have a conversation interrupted by an uggo. But men are the only ones expected to develop a thicker skin, brush off that bruising experience and try again the following week.

When it comes to casual sex it’s not even debatable. women have it easier. In fact, without the opinions of women that like casual sex representative the women who say it isn’t easier really are. That being said, I’m not asking for anything other then some simple empathy on the struggles men face in the dating pool and maybe some acknowledgement of the privilege women enjoy. Hell even bi-women acknowledge that it’s harder to find a woman to have sex with then a man.