How am I supposed to take compliments disguised as (teasing) criticism?

I hope this isn’t a silly question, but I don’t know where else to ask.

I struggle a lot with criticism, it makes me feel scared to be honest. (This is something I’m working on separately). And so does anything that could be criticism, I get scared and I think people hate me.

And sometimes at work or online someone will give what is actually a compliment, but disguised as teasing criticism.

Like— “ah, don’t be so happy with the customers, they’re going to think we’re all as nice as you!”— which, what she’s saying is I’m nice, and she isn’t seriously suggesting I stop being friendly to the customers. But in my head I think I have to stop being friendly to them because I’m frustrating my colleagues.

Or— “slow down packing all the bags! Leave some work for the rest of us!” And even though I know she’s being nice, I panic a little and slow down. And then I have to decipher the fact she is joking because, rationally, I can’t actually pack all the bags too fast, and even if I did, that would be helpful, not frustrating.

Sometimes, I write stories online, and in fandom spaces it is most stressful because people are like “aagggh your characters make me so frustrated!!!” but then they tell me they love the story and i get confused. What they mean is that they love the story and the ‘drama’ of it, kind of like the way people like drama in soap operas and stuff. They’re being nice, and speaking like literally everyone else in fandom spaces. But i can’t shake the feeling they’re actually frustrated with me and the way I write.

I don’t like feeling the way I do, but I don’t want to risk missing valid criticisms of the way I do things.

I know it’s rather silly to ask this here, and I’m still waiting on assessment, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice on this? I live in the UK especially where people love communicating in a roundabout way.