I can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic

I've just spent an hour thinking about all of this and I've realised I don't know if I've ever had a crush. Because what's actually considered romantic? If I think about any of my friends, kissing them sounds fun, taking them to dinner sounds fun, watching a movie together while resting my head on their shoulder sounds fun, anything i can think of thats considered romantic I would do with any of my close friends. If I think about crushes I've had, its always been gender envy, or something where I can't tell if its romantic or platonic attraction. For me, kissing is a action of love/closeness. Not just romantic love, but just love. So what I want to kiss my friends? I love them. I know that i do feel queerplatonic attraction and sexual attraction, and im quite sure of those, but I can not tell if I feel romantic attraction. I find the idea of someone having a crush on me weird. Like, welp :/ you're not going to date me. Unless it was one of my friends. I feel like I could date one of my friends because we'd be friends first, partners second. But I still would have no clue how to be romantic, or to be serious while acting romantic. I could say things considered romantic but id only really mean them platonicly. But what if i dont? Am i only feeling all of this, because of my love for my best friend who's aromantic? If he wasn't aromantic would these feelings be romantic instead of queerplatonic? I can not tell. Right now all I care about is that I love him, he loves me and we're best friends. I've thought about it so much, what if I'm making it all up? What if every sign is just a made up lie? But why would my brain lie about this, if so? Am i just in denile? I was in denile about being trans for three years after noticing i was dysphoric all the time. I don't know. Maybe it's much clearer from the outside, but ive always wanted to date someone, get married, have a partner, what if it was queerplatonic all along? What if it wasnt? What is romance anyway?

Sorry for how disorganised this is

Thank you everyone, i think it's all making a bit more sense now. Thank you