Lowkey In love with this girl but I value our friendship more

I started a new certificate college program back in September and met this girl in class and we clicked so fast, we spend pretty much every day together and go to all our classes together and sit together (very two peas in a pod) to the point that we get separated in group projects 💀 she helped me film a huge project last semester and it was some of the most fun I’ve had in ages.

However, we have quite an age gap imo, and I usually follow the rule of 3 years up and 3 years down, she’ll be 20 in April and I’m 25. I very obviously have a few years on her and I know that life could look very different for her by the time she’s my age, and I have literally never in my life had feelings for someone that much younger than me. To boot, I didn’t even realize how much I enjoyed her company until my mom asked if I was going to ask her out and I said no because of our age difference.

She’s also very clearly still in an exploration of life phase, and I want her to have that, I think to some extend she might know I have these feelings - but I highly doubt she likes me back (though she had dated guys who are way older (30’s) - she is bi to clarify) but again, I want to respect that gap, and even though we are similar in many ways there are still things that at the core make us very different experience and life wise. I’m not looking for anyone to encourage me to ask her out here - because I’m not going to, regardless, I just wanted to vent about the unrequited aspect of it all.

And I genuinely value our friendship so much more than potentially harming it by sharing that information. I’m also not looking to be criticized for it, it’s not like me to have feelings often for people either especially younger (I typically date up) but I just, I really appreciate her and she opened my heart a little bit for the first time in a very long time but I also like her enough to respect our current bond and differences. 🤝🏼🫂 anyway, thanks for reading 🩷