Whats your story of why you didn’t leave?

I 16f feel so shit about myself for not just getting out at the first red flag. And I feel so embarrassed defending myself to everyone. I don’t even know myself. When I look at it logically it doesn’t make any sense.

I just loved him a whole lot and didn’t know better. I hate to admit it but I didn’t think I could do any better either, I thought that this was just how men are. I wanted to be a good person, I wanted to forgive and be kind. I didn’t want him to be upset about it. I still don’t. I don’t want to punish him. I lacked self respect and self dignity. It was easier to stay than to face him. I wasn’t brave enough. I felt so attached to him, I didn’t believe any of it was on purpose. I believed it was me