My parents are having sex and it still traumatizes me
I am 16F and I’m scared of ever being with people just because of this. I don’t like being with my parents at all. What makes them think it’s okay to have sex with someone else in the house, like yeah I get it it’s like bonding and love, but I’m traumatized from it. I’ve witnessed this since I was 6. I’m tired of it, I don’t wanna hear it anymore it’s triggering. They’ve literally done it in the room when I’m sleeping on the floor or the next room over. Can’t they just do it when I’m not here or something. This upsets me so much and I don’t know what to do. It just makes me sick to my stomach. I’ve had enough I can’t take this. Tempted to tell my parents about it because it’s really triggering and upsetting for me.
Edit: I have trouble communicating with people verbally and with my family. I’m autistic and I have Asperger’s and I’m super sensitive to my surroundings. So it’s like my senses are getting crushed by a car when I hear all that. If I can hear them across the house, that’s an issue. I’m going to go talk to a therapist about this. I’m not opposed for couples having sex, just be considerate that if you have children. It can mess up them really bad and give them issues. It made me hyper-sexual at a very young age and I hated it. I’m too scared to touch people so I don’t engage in any relationships so I haven’t had sex either. I’m also not in a very great state so hearing it set me off, It made me cry a lot. I was scared and terrified, I’m not disgusted I’m just scared of it, I’m traumatized. I may be 16 but I’m still a kid and I’ll never get over this because it’s something that triggers me. It might be PTSD to hear that in the same house as my parents. This spiked my anxiety and caused me to act rashly and h@rm myself. I just need to get this all out because I don’t talk to people or therapists.
UPDATE: So I can’t control my body’s reactions to my parents having sex. It’s messed me up so bad that my brain just can’t really seem to recognize them like it feels uncomfortable and surreal to be around them. I understand that they’re married but it doesn’t matter. My brain can justify it because it literally traumatized me so bad. I honestly don’t know why it upset me so much. I usually never self harm at all but it drove me to a point of harming myself so I could just stop crying about it and get my mind off it and it actually worked. I don’t recommend doing this it isn’t healthy I just don’t know what to do about it. I’ve talked to my parents (my mom). It’s just I’ve always been sensitive to sexual content around others. I think it might have to do with me being raped at 5. I haven’t told my parents because I’m too scared to. I don’t have a great relationship with my parents due to childhood trauma and abuse. It’s just all an overload, I don’t want to be called a whiny baby for being uncomfortable with sex. My mom hasn’t noticed my arms and I usually never wear long sleeves. I don’t wanna tell anyone because I don’t want to go to a mental hospital or them to blame it on social media or the internet when it is entirely something else. I’m just afraid to leave my room at night now even to get food. Like I’d rather starve than hear it again. This has made me dissociate a lot.