AITAH for not sending screenshots of my best friend and my conversation?
This was 3 weeks ago but I am still so sad about this whole situation and need advice if I’m the AH.
Hello all I am so sorry for the long post I am just lost. My best friend let’s call her Jane. Jane is married to Curt. Jane is 9 months pregnant. Jane called me last Sunday crying saying Curt was being very verbally abusive. Curt was calling Jane a slut and a liar and that she would be a horrible mother to their son and that he would take her for full custody. She said she was mentally exhausted and that she didn’t know what to do but that he was starting to put hands on her. I told Jane to leave for some space and to see what she needed to do after she separated herself. She told me she had a Drs appt the next day and she would pack a bag and baby stuff just in case and to stay with her mom 6 hours away. Jane called me 6 hours later to say she had to leave that night. Curt came home after having two handled of 100 proof and got extremely violent. Curt grabbed his shotgun and shot at her car when she said she was leaving. In the panic to get out she realized 30 minutes later she didn’t have her wallet. Jane decided to go back for the wallet but called her mom to have her on the phone. Curt proceeded to stay violent and when she finally ran to her car he punched out the driver side window with her sitting there. Curt ran back inside for the gun and shot again. Jane’s mom called the police and Jane started her journey to her moms. No coat and no window during the winter and it’s been 10 degrees here. Throughout the entire week when she arrived to her moms I told her that Curt’s behavior was unacceptable, and that he is abusive and manipulative and that if she goes back he would hurt her or their baby.
Curt has always had a problem with alcohol and goes 0-100 so fast. She agreed all week she was tired of his behavior and that she was done and filing for divorce. I encouraged her decisions and that she would be so much happier alone. We talked about it hours upon hours days upon days about all the stuff he has done and dissecting it with her and how disgusting his behavior truly is. All week she still was texting him and he was telling her it’s her fault he acted this way and that she is destroying their life and marriage for leaving. He said she deserves the behavior because she chose to stay with him.
Friday morning she texted me saying she was going home to get the rest of her baby stuff even though close friends and family already told her they would gather it for her. I told Jane that wasn’t the best idea but that I would be here to support her and if she needed me to just call. I didn’t hear from her at all on Friday after that. Saturday evening she texted me asking me to send screenshots of our entire conversation for the week as she deleted everything on her way home
. She wanted to show him everything that was said to build trust. I immediately felt uncomfortable with this and didn’t want to be put in the middle or made a target by Curt, I am also pregnant. She asked me to send everything and just blur all of my messages.
That was ten times the work because we had hundreds of texts exchanged in the last week alone. While telling her I was uncomfortable with it I said I could send her a few but the work to send everything would take so long especially after already being uncomfortable in the situation. I told her this was a lose lose situation for me because I’m stuck with the decision of saying yes and losing my friend due to manipulation or I say no and then I’m a bad friend for not being supportive. she texted me” Curt said he would send all the messages because he took screenshots of our conversation and will now send it to my husband’s name unless I make it easy and send the messages he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t care what you said but he wants the messages so it’s up to me” I replied my husband doesn’t care what our conversations consist of because I’m doing nothing wrong by texting my best friend everyday and that this was the manipulation I was talking about.
I got blocked on everything and now I’m wondering if I made the wrong choice by saying I was uncomfortable doing that. Am i the asshole for not sending the messages? I have no way to contact my best friend now because of it all.