Is this how it happens? :-/

I’ve always dreamed about being a woman. At least as long as I can remember.

I’m 41 and married with kids. Recently, my wife found my stash of clothes and since then, I feel like my life is spinning out of control.

Previously, I could control the feelings most of the week and would find a few hours to indulge late at night after all was quiet. Of course every night I’d wish I’d wake up the next day “different” but it wasn’t always on my mind.

Now that my wife found out my “secret”, I cannot stop thinking about this. I told her it was just a sex thing… I’m pretty sure she knew it was a lie. We’re not exactly communicating well right now and we’re sleeping in different rooms.

I can’t look at women now without overwhelming sadness. It wasn’t like this before. The thing I don’t really get it why is it suddenly soooo much?!?

I started therapy last week and actually told someone how long I’ve had these feeling.. idk if that might have something to do with this?