why can’t i orgasm?

so about a week and a half ago my boyfriend (19m) and i (19f) were kissing and it got a little heated, it ended up with him going down there ykyk and i wasn’t able to orgasm. now that’s not to say it didn’t feel good, but it didn’t feel like a whole lot. mostly while he was doing it i was reacting to how i should likely feel rather than what i was actually feeling. i never felt “close” and nothing really came of it. i faked it and then told him, which ngl is rlly embarrassing. but i don’t think it’s his fault. i have had a hard time even getting to an orgasm by myself (only happens in a very specific scenario) and i think i was just in my head. maybe anxiety? anyway, we had sex for the first time (not his first time, my first time) and it was rlly silly actually. it was super awkward but we laughed through it and i loved the experience. anyway, i still wasn’t able to orgasm at all and we tried several different positions and stuff to see what felt different. me being on top felt weird, i think a good kind of weird? it feels good but like i said earlier, nothing was enough to get me there. we had a conversation about it, and i felt bad because i didn’t want him to think that it’s his fault that i couldn’t. anyway, im not sure if it’s because im thinking too much, because im worried, or something else. advice?

edit: thank you guys so much for all of your words of wisdom and kindness. i thought a lot about it and i realized that i am most definitely trying too hard to get there when i really should just focus on the sensations. ill see what works and then go from there. :) thanks again!!!