Grieving is exhausting. - rant

I am so exhausted. So exhausted. I am exhausted by the dark thoughts, the grief bombs, the constant reminder that my brother is dead and the reoccurring guilt. It is so hard and so exhausting. I also feel so much more sensitive by things and it makes me not want to be around people. I am so exhausted of putting on a mask at work that everything is fine when I am dead inside. I am tired of the guilt I feel when I am depressed or down and don’t do anything because I’m too sad. I am so so tired :(