My(20M) GF(19F)Past is Affecting Me and Our Relationship

I’m a college student, and a few months ago, I started dating a girl from my college. Initially, everything was great. When we got into a relationship, I asked her if she had been in a relationship before. She lied and said, "No."

Since I had no prior experience, I believed her. However, after a few months, when I pressed her on the topic, she finally confessed that she had been in a 3-year-long relationship before me. She told me her ex was a bad guy who smoked, abused her, and even physically hurt her. I asked why she stayed with him, and she said, “I loved him.”

When I learned the truth, I felt betrayed and decided to leave her, but she begged me to stay. She even gaslighted me by saying things like, “You’re going to leave me just like he did,” and “I was scared to tell you because I thought you’d get angry.” Against my better judgment, I convinced myself to stay and trust her again.

Now, months later, things aren’t going great between us. She often gets zoned out when we’re together, and whenever I do or say something, she brings up her past. She constantly says, “I’ve suffered so much; please don’t hurt me,” or “I don’t want the same things to happen to me again.” She’s honest sometimes but not completely. She also keeps justifying her past decisions, saying her ex was a bad guy and she was warned by her friends, but she still loved him and stayed in that toxic relationship.

The problem is that her past is affecting me a lot. I feel like I’m carrying the weight of her previous relationship. While I empathize with her trauma, I can’t help but feel drained by how often it gets brought up. She seems to use her past as a shield whenever we have issues, and it’s making me question if this relationship is healthy for me.

I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I want to support her because I care about her deeply, but on the other hand, her behavior and past are affecting my mental peace. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of hurting her or triggering her past trauma.

What should I do? Should I stay and keep trying, or is it better for both of us if I step away? Has anyone been in a similar situation

I’ve tried to communicate with her, but it often feels like my feelings get overshadowed by her past.

I genuinely care about her, but I’m starting to feel like I’m losing myself in this relationship.