How I know

“How did you know you were in love?”

I’ve been asked this question any time I used that 4 letter word.

If I gave them the real answer I know they’d wish they have never heard

Because whilst I might say it was when I felt my stomach churn and the butterflies begin to fly

The real answer is when I started to feel the alcohol burn the back of my throat until I drink the bottle dry

I can’t love naturally

Love hurts

Even healthy love would send my mind spiraling

So to keep me sane and to keep us from tumbling

I ease my pain with that bottom of the bottle sparkling

And that’s how I know I’m in love

When I start to overthink every word said as I lay in bed and the only thing that can silence the annoying hum of my insecurities is a bottle of rum