Hi everyone,

I want to share my personal journey of healing from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in the hope that it might help someone else who's struggling. OCD consumed a significant part of my life for many years, but through a willingness to experiment with various techniques, significant lifestyle changes, shifting my perspective, and being determined to do whatever was necessary, I've been able to break free from the grip of OCD and reclaim my life.

My OCD Story and the Turning Point

My OCD began when I was about 15 years old. It started subtly with avoidance behaviors during a challenging time at school where I faced bullying and lacked support at home. By my late teens, compulsions had firmly taken hold of my life.

One of my main compulsions involved obsessively plucking nose hairs. I'd spend up to six hours a day hunched over a mirror, trying to remove every single hair, even the barely visible ones. It might sound irrational, but the anxiety and the need for certainty felt overwhelmingly real.

These compulsions are an unconscious pattern the mind uses to avoid engaging with internal distress. By fixating on external things like nose hairs, I could find temporary relief through the certainty of knowing I had removed them all. This fixation, whether internal or external, was a way for my mind to cope with the underlying emotional turmoil.

Around 18 years old, after yet another haircut to shave my hair down to zero, I had a breakdown. I realized these behaviors were severely impacting my life, but I felt powerless to stop. Initially misdiagnosed with body dysmorphia, I was later correctly diagnosed with OCD.

Over the years, I underwent multiple treatments:

• Medications: I tried various SSRIs at high doses. While they provided some relief, they weren't a complete solution.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Traditional CBT didn't work for me. I believe this was because my OCD was rooted in trauma, which CBT didn't adequately address.
• Specialized Treatment: At 25, I spent three months as an inpatient at the Royal Bethlehem Hospital, receiving guided Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. This made my OCD manageable but didn't eliminate it.

After moving to Australia with my then-girlfriend, my OCD persisted. It wasn't until our breakup in 2018 and my return to the UK that I hit rock bottom. In early 2019, I was in the worst period of my life—struggling emotionally, using substances to cope, and working a job I hated.

It was because things got so bad for me that I knew I needed to make deep changes to get where I am today. This was the turning point. I realized I needed to do whatever it took to overcome OCD and live freely. I owed it to myself to find a way out of this suffering.

Picture of me from 2019 during my lowest point.

Doing Whatever It Takes

Once I made the decision to fully commit to my healing journey, I began experimenting with various techniques and making significant lifestyle changes. These included:

1. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP):
   • Facing Fears: I created a fear hierarchy, listing my compulsions from least to most distressing.
   • Targeting the Hardest First: After building self-belief by tackling easier compulsions, I focused on the most challenging one—plucking nose hairs.
   • Consistent Practice: Regularly exposing myself to triggers without engaging in compulsions weakened the OCD cycle over time.
2. Lifestyle Changes:
   • Wim Hof Breathing: Practiced daily breathing exercises that helped reduce anxiety and increased my ability to handle stress.
   • Nutrition: Switched to a healthier diet rich in foods that promote gut health and serotonin production, while cutting out excessive caffeine and alcohol.
   • Exercise: Engaged in regular physical activity, including weightlifting, which significantly improved my mental well-being and became a healthy coping mechanism.
3. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR):
   • Processing Trauma: Used EMDR techniques to reprocess traumatic memories that were fueling my OCD behaviors.
   • Self-Practice: While working with a professional is ideal, I found online resources and videos that allowed me to practice EMDR on my own.
4. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping:
   • Managing Emotions: Tapping on meridian points helped me release negative emotions and reduce the intensity of my anxiety.
   • Daily Routine: Incorporated EFT into my daily routine, especially during high-stress periods.
5. Mindfulness and Body Awareness:
   • Yoga Nidra: Practiced this form of guided meditation to promote deep relaxation and parasympathetic nervous system activation.
   • Somatic Release Exercises: Engaged in activities that helped release tension and trauma stored in the body.

It was a process of trial and error, but I was determined to find what worked for me. Each small change brought me closer to my goal of overcoming OCD.

The Shift in Perspective

A critical change was understanding that OCD is not just about irrational fears or themes but a pattern—a maladaptive coping mechanism often rooted in trauma.

I realized that:

• OCD Is a Pattern: The specific compulsions were expressions of a deeper pattern of seeking certainty and relief from anxiety.
• Anxiety Is a Signal: Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety at all costs, I began seeing it as a signal indicating areas where I needed growth or change.
• Acceptance Is Powerful: Learning to accept the presence of intrusive thoughts without acting on them diminished their power over me.

Values as a Guide

As I progressed on my healing journey, I began to recognize the importance of living according to my values. While getting clearer on my values wasn't necessarily what drove my initial decision to change in 2019, it became an essential part of maintaining my progress and continuing to grow.

Now, whenever I find myself drawn to avoidance behaviors, I ask myself, "What is the strongest thing I can do in this situation?" or "What would give me the most growth?" This helps me align my actions with my values, even when it's uncomfortable.

Some of the core values that guide me include:

• Courage: Having the resolve to make whatever changes are necessary for my well-being and growth.
• Authenticity: Being true to myself and my experiences, even when it's difficult.
• Growth: Continuously seeking opportunities to learn, evolve, and become a better version of myself.
• Self-Compassion: Treating myself with kindness and understanding, especially in moments of struggle.

The Transformation

The journey from the depths of OCD to living a life of freedom has been nothing short of transformative. Looking back at the picture from 2019, although it is still me it is also a literally a completely different person — someone consumed by anxiety, trapped in cycles of compulsions, and disconnected from their true self.

Fast forward to 2024, and I am a completely different person. Through an unwavering commitment to my healing and a willingness to do whatever it took, I've been able to break free from the grip of OCD. I've learned valuable lessons about myself, cultivated resilience, and discovered the power of living in alignment with my values.

Current picture of me in 2024.

Life After OCD

Today, I can confidently say that I am completely healed from OCD. However, this doesn't mean that I'm not aware of the potential for old patterns to resurface. Maintaining my freedom from OCD requires ongoing self-awareness and a commitment to the practices that have brought me this far.

This includes:

• Living My Values Daily: Continuously aligning my actions with my core values keeps me grounded and authentic.
• Self-Awareness: Staying vigilant for potential triggers and consciously choosing not to engage in compulsions.
• Stress Management: Using healthy coping mechanisms like exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones to handle stress.
• Continuous Growth: Setting value-aligned goals and working towards them ensures that I'm always moving forward.

Healing from OCD has been a profound journey of self-discovery and transformation. It has taught me the power of resilience, the importance of self-compassion, and the necessity of endeavoring to be my authentic self.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming OCD has been the most rewarding challenge of my life. It's a journey that requires patience, persistence, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable feelings and thoughts and more. But even though it likely seems impossible, complete healing is possible. I know if you asked me at age 18 if I would ever heal from OCD I would have laughed in your face. However it starts with making the decision to do whatever it takes to heal and committing to the journey, one day at a time.

I'm happy to answer any questions or provide more details on any of the techniques I used. Remember, the beliefs you hold about OCD's power over are not fixed. You have the power to rewrite the narrative and create a life of freedom and authenticity.

Thanks for reading :)