have any of you experienced symptoms/compulsions related to school and specifically being organised in school?

anything notebook related, writing related..?

related to writing with the perfect pen. and then the pen not feeling right, feeling a need to have a strict system but not being satisfied with it...etc...

this sounds a little trivial maybe but i've always felt like i struggled severely with these things in a way i could not relate to another person about.

i am a huge pen collector. because the last pen didn't feel right, or something. and then the notebook didn't feel right. and then i end up writing random things all over my pages unrelated.

there was a time when i STRICTLY stayed away from notebooks for a YEAR. i did not allow myself to buy one or use one because of how messy it became. i could never keep a notebook for one thing. i was truely terrified of notebooks during this time (not in a "i see notebook and get scared" kinda way though to be clear)

i have wondered/enquired into whether this may be an adhd thing (which i have been diagnosed for)...but the more time goes by it doesn't seem right. there are some oddly specific behaviours/compulsions i could never explain and i also wonder how other people don't experience it - i end up doing my head in trying to figure out a way through but it's been a few years now.