Has anyone else experienced their superpowers never returning?

Last time I PMO'd was this year in mid January. I'm 9 months PMO free.

In the first ~70 days, I experienced incredible "superpowers." High confidence, clarity, energy, happiness... but like crazy. No more urges to masturbate or look at porn.

Then after ~70 days, the superpowers disappeared. Low energy, brain fog, etc. I still never masturbated or PMO'd. I didn't have urges to relapse either. So I continued forward in cleanness, hoping someday the superpowers will return.

Throughout the months, my energy got better for a few months, but would get low again for another few months. But even in the times of better energy, the high super powers I experienced before 70 days never returned.

At around end of July, the urges to PMO returned. But I still haven't relapsed. But the internal desires have been overwhelming, for the last 4 months, and are not going away.

I keep self-justifying myself "I won't look at porn. But wouldn't it be fine if I just masturbated without porn to release this overwhelming desire?"

But I still haven't masturbated. My main motivation is this: Throughout this year of quitting PMO, I've experienced such valuable ability to connect with people in healthy, platonic ways. But here's this thought: "If I masturbated, then I will lose my ability to connect with people, and I'll ruin all the good connections I've built up throughout this year. I don't want to go back to low social confidence and awkwardness."

Don't judge my beliefs, but my plan is to be PMO free AND stay a virgin until I get married. But I don't plan on getting married until at least a couple years from now.

My main question is: Is there anyone else here who's experienced anything similar to this? Where the superpowers seem to have never returned? And is there any reassurance you can help me?