Need words of encouragement

I am currently in the process of getting out of a marriage with I suspect a covert narc. Feeling very overwhelmed and scared right now. Just with the process of leaving/divorcing as well as fear of being on my own again and being able to financially survive. I know I can do it, I’ve done it before but it feels different. I make decent money and fortunately I have a house I bought before marriage, it’s currently rented out but my tenants are on the hunt to find something new. I’ve gone back and forth so much with indecisiveness that I’m sure I’ve burned thousands of calories- ha! He’s currently in the calm rational phase but a week ago was being nasty towards me and telling me how he doesn’t want to be with me anymore because he’s tired of me abusing and manipulating him , of course he couldn’t come up with a single example. I know it’s a manipulation tactic. Anyway I’m just tired of walking on eggshells, being stuck in fight or flight mode, not having peace in my own home. So I’m leaving. But there are moving parts that make it to where I can’t leave just yet and then I get overwhelmed like I am right now and I just think maybe I should just stay, it isn’t as bad as what others are going through or even as bad as what I’ve been through in past relationships but I know that’s the fear and the doubt talking. I refuse to be held hostage by it anymore. I know I’m rambling and all over the place but here I am shining my light in hopes someone will come to my side.