Is it true that men in relationships don’t masturbate to pictures of their partner?
I honestly don’t even want to get into every single detail and aspect of our relationship right now. So I’ll try to make a long story short… I just simply want to know why my husband jerks off to YouTube girls instead of explicit pictures of me?
Do all men refuse to masturbate to pictures, thoughts or memories of their SO/wife? And prefer to masturbate to strange women over their familiar wife? If so is it because they are bored or no longer find her attractive or stimulating? What would keep a husband or partner from wanting to masturbate to pictures or use the spank bank they have of their partner/wife?
Little backstory- My husband was caught using YouTube as a tool to masturbate after previous issues that led to boundaries around porn. I was initially really upset and hurt. For whatever reason this YouTube stuff is really driving me crazy. These girls aren’t even fully nude, so IMO you really need to be attracted to their faces and use a lot of your imagination to get off to what you’re seeing, over a flat out nude picture. I’m beyond hurt that he would turn to and seek out this hardly even soft porn crap, over just using memories of our times together or pictures of me… It’s not like he’s lacking sex. We have sex often. I have a high sex drive and I enjoy sex. As far as I can see we have sex more than most married couples with kids out there.
Anyways, I forgave him yet AGAIN, this time with the ultimatum that if he does it again then the marriage is over and I want a divorce, as I no longer want to be married to a porn addict. He agreed to this and said he never wanted to think about loosing me or his family or hurting me again, he even swore himself that he wouldn’t and that he didn’t need it and he’d sign papers himself if he ever did it again! We moved forward and I even went above and beyond, (regardless of how horrible it made me feel to know that he was masturbating and lusting after women that were dancing around not even fully nude). I sent MORE pix/videos of myself, bought a new lingerie outfit for every night we had sex, FaceTimed him with it on etc it didn’t matter. He STILL was found to be doing it anyways. I’ve been devastated ever since and have felt pathetic and embarrassed to ever put myself out there, just for him to chose half dressed youtube video girls over his marriage and me and my body and what I offer him. He risked loosing it all and called my bluff. It’s been 6 months and I can’t get over it this time. I took off my ring. I told him I no longer view us as a couple anymore. He scheduled and we’re going to “marriage counseling”, but it’s honestly a joke. The pastor/counselor almost sounds like he’s brushing it off as no big deal and I shouldn’t feel unworthy or unattractive because he’s just using it to masturbate and it has nothing to do with me or my looks, it’s a him thing and nothing to do with me… Like that magically changes how his continuous actions and disrespect have made me feel all this time. It’s so strange this time around, I don’t even look at him the same person, he’s just your typical pervert guy now, I’ve lost all respect for him and I have since fallen out of love. There’s zero intimacy or emotion connection whatsoever. When we have sex, it’s literally just that. I have zero feelings or connection towards him whatsoever. I can’t bring myself to kiss him. I can’t even get the words “I love you too” out of my mouth. I used to be so proud of us I thought we were different I thought he was different. He’s not though, he’s a liar, a manipulator and has been lying to me about who he was our entire relationship. I don’t think there is ever coming back from this, this time. I feel like a fool, embarrassed, unattractive, inadequate and pathetic for crying to him and being so vulnerable about everything. I feel so stupid for giving him so many chances and mostly going above and beyond, really putting myself out there, degrading myself and trying to fix this out of my love for him.
- I want to add that I have never told him he couldn’t masturbate. I masturbate. I have been open to sending pix, sexting, phone sex etc. The difference between us is that I get hot thinking of the things we do together or things I want him to do to me and use visions of him/us/my husband. I don’t go seeking out someone hotter who has a head full of hair and washboard abs*