I've failed twice. What do I do?

I started driving properly in January 2024, doing a semi intensive course to get up to a reasonable standard quickly, and from then until both my tests did regular lessons and then a shit ton of practice in the days before each. I had previously tried learning to drive a manual in 2021 but a nervous breakdown stopped all of this, so thought an automatic may be easier. I've totalled about 60 hours of lessons in all in the automatic, and spent about 2 grand on lessons alone, and I've lost so many nights of sleep worrying about it,

I've attached both my failures. My most recent failure was in July last year- the judgement and positioning faults were at the same time while meeting on a narrow stretch of road with a wall immediately to my left and another car to my right. Obviously because it's narrow, you're going to be close to both. My examiner said that my judgement fault was for being too close to the other car, and my positioning fault was for being too close to the wall. If you compare this to my previous test, where I only got an observation fault, I clearly got way worse at driving in between these two points despite having had regular lessons and practice. I spent the rest of the day screaming and shouting at home about it, I was viscerally angry at myself and at the examiner. The test and everything about it feels rigged, and there is no recourse to appeal a faulty decision by the examiner. They hold completely unchecked power.

I ended up just quitting. At least temporarily. In truth, I hate driving and everything about it. I genuinely cannot think of an activity I like less. I hate cars, I can't stand traffic, and I detest the way that car dependency has destroyed our towns and cities. The problem is, I've since moved to somewhere that's even worse for being a car dependent hellhole (having to get the bus now costs me hours of my time every single day and way more than driving would as work and supermarkets are within easy reach by car but nearly impossible by walking or cycling), and my family are putting immense pressure on me to start learning again because they helped me cover a lot of the frankly exorbitant amounts I've paid to learn to drive. I've also been a near constant target of mockery for learning to drive an automatic. I've contacted instructors in my area- they all seem to be way out of my budget or have no availability. How do I get this over and done with- get this millstone around my neck out of my life for good and pass this godforsaken test. Ideally before my theory expires in early 2026, because that took me 4 attempts to get in the first place.