Devastated

He just left and I’m absolutely falling apart. Five days together wasn’t nearly enough. It was the best five days of my life. We did everything together. After ten months apart, we needed it so bad.

I feel like I ruined our last day together because I couldn’t stop crying on his chest. I feel awful. He’s driving home now and I’m watching his location get further and further away again and my heart aches. I know we will see each other again and be together forever eventually, but the right now hurts so fucking bad.

When we met for the first time 10 months ago and he left, it hurt. But not like this. I hate feeling like this. I’m not sure I can handle it. Sitting alone in my quiet house when just an hour ago he was sitting next to me, I am genuinely ill. I feel like I miss out on so much of his life when we aren’t together. I’m just ready to be with him permanently.

My sweet, beautiful, caring, handsome, cute, boy, I love you with everything in me. You are worth everything and more. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy.