Scared of marriage

I'm in my mid 20s and just like many other brown girls, I'm under pressure from family to get settled and have a family of my own.

I grew up in a family of just women and my dad wasn't always available (hard working struggling man, not his fault). As the eldest daughter I had to step up as "man of the house" when my father couldn't be there: making decisions about household expenses, calling mazdoor, navigating family politics, being a mediator etc etc. Basically playing roles of the eldest son while having to juggle restrictions of a woman. It's a lot of pressure.

I'm a go-getter and extremely career oriented, I value my independence and autonomy because that's all I've known. I'm so used to depending only on myself that becoming answerable to a man really scares me. I'd be expected to depend on him for my essentials, carry his children (I'm deathly afraid of pregnancy) and become a part of his family. I'd be expected to live by his rules as he'll be the man of the house.

How do married women balance their own autonomy while being in a partnership with a man? The men I've come across don't like how independent I am and expect me to be subservient.

Ideally I'd live the rest of my life alone and achieve my goals and dreams by myself, but law of nature has it that no human can survive on their own forever. We need community and support.

Looking for advice and guidance. Thanks.