i wish i were a boy !

so hi guys

i am a girl, 17, and yeah i am pretty much fucked up with female friendships

female friendships, well, i never got to experience it

wherever i go, whomever i talk noone seems to really like me, they seem interested in me till i get good grades/or for 1-2 days then lose interest

even if i tend to study in class, minding my own business, not talking to anyone, since every time i have opened, i have been called senseless, negative, or childish an spread to almost everyone

every time i shared a positive accomplishment of mine, it would soon be downgraded by telling oh anyone can do that, everyone has done that

so i tend to keep my mouth shut and study, but then i am called arrogant and bad-natured, really? wtf? even the girls of sections who have just talked to me once came to the judgement i am ill-natured when all the time i am found studying xd

whenever theres a group discussion, any gathering, none of the girls even wish to sit beside me, or stand next to me, which has landed me in some embarrassing situations making me look like an outcast

on the other hand, i see guys, they always have each others back irrespective of how they look. dress, behave, study, or status, they just support and uplift each other, while roasting too xd

believe me even my teachers called me loner/exile, infront of the entire class like wtf, can u imagine professionals doing this, if i think about this it makes me feel miserable, that except grades, i didnt really have any memories which people boast of/cherish in their later stages of life, nor any bestfriend with whom i can enjoy/rant/support/or do anything