Feeling depressed after ER

I had my ER done yesterday morning and for the most of the day I felt fine. I felt like I million dollars i was so proud of my self. I did the injections I got to the clinic for all my appointments, I did the procedure. I made through. But then after about 12 hours there was the sudden drop. My husband said something not mean or anything just dumb. And I started to cry then I couldn't stop crying. Thoughts started to run rampant. Why did I do this. Why would I want to go through this. What if not of the eggs fertilize we had 21 follicles but only retrieved 13 eggs. Of those 13 only 8 can be fertilized. How many more will I lose? what if they gender testing and none are girls? All of this and more just swirling around my mind. In addition to all this the physical pain ofthe ER was finally starting to set in. All I could do was curling up into a ball and cry from the physical and mental pain. Today I have laid in bed holding back tears. I just want to lie her and rot in to my blanket. I don't want exist. I just want my world to stop for a moment and let me be in pain. Idk I guess I'm just looking for kind words or maybe to know I'm not alone in feeling this.