Guilt about my Uncle’s passing

For context he had been going through cancer treatment for almost two years by now. And while things weren’t exactly getting better, it wasn’t the worst. But a couple days ago he just suddenly had a rapid decline in health with his liver and kidneys failing. And last night he passed away. My family and I got to see him yesterday one last time and while he was conscious and responsive before we came, by the time we got there he wasn’t responsive at all. Not fully asleep, but he clearly wasn’t all there. And during that time I got to say my goodbyes, but I just wish I could know that he was able to hear me and know how much I loved him. The last time I saw him was at a party a week prior and I have massive social anxiety so with there being a lot of people there I made the stupid decision of not going to say hi. I did see him there once but he was sleeping, so he didn’t see me. And my mom told me the next day that he asked for me. That just made me feel so terrible. And the last time I visited him before that I didn’t stay long. But I thought I’d at least have a little more time to go see him again. We all thought we’d have a little more time. But things just got worse so quickly in so little time. I just can’t shake the guilt of not spending that time with him that I should have. I just feel like he never really got to have a good last quality time with me and I feel so horrible for it. There’s so much I wanted to do with him. We talked about going to New Zealand and now I can’t go with him. I don’t feel like I fully appreciated the time I had with him until it was too late and he was gone. I can’t even fathom him no longer coming over to our house, that I won’t hear his laugh and sense of humor again. I’ve experienced loss before, but this just hit me in a way I haven’t felt before. Sorry if this wasn’t very coherent. Just had to get it all out.