Too many incompetent men trying to dominate competent women - ways to handle.

Caveat: there are plenty of amazing, talented men in the field. Likewise, there are probably plenty of incompetent women. The below is based on my experience often encountering a certain "type" of a man in the industry.

I (36f) have been working in investment banking for about 10 years. I regularly encounter the following type of a man: confident to the point of arrogance, unwilling to learn (because why would he, he already is the best), he puts a huge amount of effort to pretend that he is working hard but in reality he is pretty incompetent and does the absolute minimum... but... he can chat! Oh the chat and the bullshit - especially with the management.

Working with them is exhausting: they gaslight you, do all those little subtle things to undermine your confidence - they lie quite a lot but the lies are small enough that you don't want to bring them up with the management in order not to look petty.

They also show a complete lack of respect, especially if they see that you, as a woman, are so much better than them. Smarter guys do it in private without witnesses, the more stupid ones in public.

How do you get these type of guys to respect you? I would think that being professional and competent would work, but actually - it doesn't. The more competent you are the worse they behave towards you because their ego can't handle not being as good. I feel that stroking their ego works very well but it is unsustainable long term - although I found that flattery, especially in front of others, is the best way to get them off your back at least for a short while.

I'm seriously exhausted - I keep encountering such men (two of them got fired eventually after i gathered sufficient evidence showing their incompetence). This constant "battle for power" that they involve me in is absolutely and completely exhausting.

Do you also frequently encounter this "type "? What are your strategies to handle them? (Ignoring, flattery, perhaps involve HR very early on at the slightest hint of them being disrespectful or undermining you?)