Feeling Extremely Disheartened By My Mother Victim Blaming One Of Her Coworkers For Getting Raped

One of my mom's coworkers recently went on a trip to Las Vegas with a group of friends (both men and women, all from the same workplace). During one of the days, my mom's coworker got extremely drunk to the point of passing out, and when she woke up the following morning, she discovered that she was in the hotel room of one of her male coworkers. He told her that he "had a great time last night," but she didn't even remember having had sex with him. Traumatized, she immediately quit her job and is now working elsewhere. I don't know if she reported the incident to the police (since this is literally rape), but when my mom was telling me this story, she didn't call out the man's disgusting behaviors, and instead blamed her female coworker for "allowing herself to get that drunk in the first place."

It's true that no human being should ever get blackout drunk (I mean, that's just not healthy for our bodies!), but conscious or unconscious, sober or drunk, no one deserves to be sexually assaulted. If someone I knew, either male or female, was intoxicated, I would make sure that they didn't choke on their vomit, or just otherwise see to it that they make it through the night. The last thing on my mind, when in the presence of an inebriated person, is to think about taking advantage of them, and people who do, are just sick. Clearly, this depraved man is a rapist who has no empathy for women, but I am so disappointed in my mom, who is a woman herself, who essentially blamed a coworker for her own rape rather than seeing that crimes are always the fault of the perpetrator, never the fault of the victim.

Besides this incident, my mom has also said other extremely sexist things which make me extremely angry at her internalized misogyny, and as someone who has been raped multiple times myself, it makes me even more sad that she is more of an ally to male rapists (and probably male murderers) rather than their female victims who either end up dead or with lifelong trauma.