2 months nc

two months and i'm unsure of how i feel. on one hand, i'm proud of myself for setting a boundary that felt impossible for me to approach. i'm happy it was my choice, not his. i'm proud that i value you life, and myself. on the other hand, i'm still navigating life with grief and after losing who i felt was my person. my ex was not a bad partner, the relationship was fruitful and loving, but we had our issues and he was done. i didn't want to give up but you know, that's how life goes. i'm still trying to put myself back together and navigate my life as best as i can, but it's difficult. not only did i lose my romantic and sexual partner but my best friend. i still feel mildly helpless about the whole situation but more accepting. i think it was the best thing i could have done for myself. i worry about how i would feel if I ran into him somewhere, and how I might approach the situation. I am happy I haven't seen him and would highly appreciate if the divine intervention continued to prevent us from doing so.

overall I would rate NC 10/10. I called him once from a friend's phone when drunk (oops) but he didn't answer, THANKFULLY. Other than that, no texts..emails..calls..nothing from me. I have no plans on trying to contact him any time soon for any reason.