Found out I'm going to detox and rehab soon. Goodbye bender.

I know I should be using this opportunity to cut down and I really do want to get better but also I need just one more bender to say goodbye. Gonna miss DXM, Xanax and diazepam. My babies.

4mg Xanax, 60mg Diaz and only 240mg DXM because I'm running low and my new delivery is taking forever. God I'm such a fuck up why do I do this shit to myselffffff please get me high. Fucked my tolerance so bad that I need like 450-500+mg of freebase to get high and even 5mg Xanax and 10mg diazepam doesn't get me properly high anymore.

Believe it or not I want to be sober. I'm gonna try in detox and rehab so hard and when I get out. But fuck am I gonna miss this shit. It's my coping mechanism. I need this shit. But I need to learn to live without it too. Howwwww