My wife hasn’t touched me in 3 years but still wants everything else from me. Is this enough reason to leave?

Just looking for some outside perspective here.

My (38M) wife (38F) and I have been together for over a decade. In most ways, things are okay. We don’t fight much, we get along, and honestly, I’d say we like each other. But for the past three years, there has been zero intimacy. No sex and barely any touching. Casual affection has also become a distant memory. It’s like that whole part of our relationship just ceased to exist.

I’ve talked to her about it, told her how I feel, asked if there’s anything I can do to help. I don’t pressure her, I don’t get angry, I just want to understand. Every time, she either brushes it off or gives some vague excuse about stress, being tired, or “just not being in that place right now.” But If feel three years is a decision, rather than a phase.

What makes it harder is that it’s not like she’s disengaged from life. She has energy for her friends, her hobbies, her job and so on. She makes plans to go out, she travels, she asks a lot from me in terms of financial support, emotional support, flexibility so she can do the things she wants. And I give it to her because I love her. But it feels really lopsided. Like I’m here to make sure she has the life she wants, while the one thing I deeply need is just off the table.

I get checked out by women, and feel like I could get some elsewhere if I wanted. Event though I won't.

Is this, by itself, enough of a reason to consider leaving? Or do I stay, suck it up, and develop coping mechanisms?

If everything else in the marriage is decent, am I being shallow for still caring about sex? Or is this just one of those things you learn to live without once you’ve been married long enough? Because I don’t know if I can, but I also don’t know if this is a “just deal with it” situation. I think we all deserve sex if we want it, right?

Would really appreciate any advice, especially from people who have been through this.

She's leaving tonight for a weekend away with girlfriends and I have committed to taking the weekend to myself for self-care and giving this some serious thought.