Blackout Amnesia vs partial or emotional amnesia

I switch but I’m not sure what kind of amnesia I’m experiencing. I feel like for DID it’s almost as if waking up from being unconscious but with OSDD it’s like not being attached to emotions within memories or feeling that they belong to someone else. I’m so disoriented right now I can’t even remember if I actually remember things as dumb as that sounds. I finally am going to see a trauma psychotherapist. I finally quit masking and lying to my therapist just because I had some irrational fear that my life was going to be torn away from me after I did that. It’s gonna be a bit before my first appointment though and I’m also horribly terrified to make the appointment. I guess I just wish I understood what switching was like in people’s personal experiences like what DID feels like compared to OSDD. I wonder if this post even makes any sense