Is system mapping destabilising when done independently?

Hello it’s me again sorry. I’ve mentioned this before but we as a system are very hesitant to try trauma informed therapy, because reprocessing sounds awful. However, I’m pretty sure we’re entitled to a normal CBT counsellor, so? Baby steps?

Anyways, as I say, no current access to a trauma educated therapist, even if we wanted one. I can’t afford a dissociation therapist. However, lots of people in the ‘system’(??) want to write out details so we can identify each other easier.

But I’ll be truthful, this seems like a thing a trauma therapist might do better (if it’s not clear I’m in the minority who WANTS trauma informed therapy or at least a dissociation specialist). Will this be destabilising?

Perhaps relevant information was that during lockdown we were sort of spiralling everywhere and it was so so hard to get down any identities. We got a few, but then everything went to crap and we spent months and months having ‘alters’ that immediately disappeared, what I suspect now are fragments or just really bad dissociation and trying to frantically make something out of nothing. This is why I want a specialist on it. The others (even if we could afford it) would point blank refuse to speak to them, especially towards something as personal as our identities

Any help?