What happens if I have these symptoms and they’re not debilitating ?

I have the childhood trauma, I have the symptoms, and when things get bad, everything flares up. But in my day to day, everything’s quite stable, and I’m coping— can I even bring it up to a professional, knowing that I’m not really disordered, that I’m coping?

I asked something similar in another subreddit and everyone seemed to advise me that this can spontaneously happen, but I don’t believe that. DID comes from childhood abuse, and I was abused as a child, and I do still suffer consequences, but everything is stable, so I take it as it comes and I cope. In a situation like lockdown, I spiralled all over the place— if it was then, I’d say I was disordered, but I’m not there anymore.

I don’t know. I want help, but the thing is, I’m coping without it. I do the self soothing, and I think being aware of the ‘parts’ has altered that a little, but it hasn’t stopped it; if anything, it’s more effective— even when I have ‘parts’ that don’t believe in others, that’s fine, because as long as they’re calm, or don’t do anything permanent, that passes, too. We all have a common goal here, we want to be stable, that means maintaining the status quo. We even don’t mind the alters who are angry or feel near violent all the time because they just work out all the anger by working out or something until someone else shows up. The rule is pretty much, don’t fuck what we have up. And it’s working.

I’m so sorry if this breaks any rules, and I know what I should do is talk to a professional, but the last professional I spoke to pretty much just said I was ‘introspective, but seemed to know how to cope’ and that seems to pretty much be the theme for this. The whole idea of DID is that you can have it and live a traumatised, but functional rest of your life, right? I know there’s a good chance I’ll never get over the trauma— I know there are hangups, people can yell the wrong way or lift their hand in a specific way and I’ll lose all my reasoning and start thinking like I’m five, or I lose time and ‘reset’ somewhere in the future— but I’m privileged to be in a situation where this isn’t happening often enough to be debilitating. And when it does, the fact I’m aware why I’m suddenly outside of my body and feeling as if I am talking to someone else helps me get back to it, it helps me cope. I know how to soothe the teenager that screams about everything in my head, or at least, I can soothe enough that she isn’t fronting anymore. I can deal with the angry adults. I can handle the kids, or the men who feel really fucking weird about looking and acting like a girl. Even the ones of us who just show up and get so depressed. It’s weird, but I’m coping.

I don’t know. I feel crazy for not having cPTSD symptoms sometimes and sometimes it feels like I am nothing but cPTSD symptoms. So I don’t think it’s fair to say I don’t experience it, just because I don’t experience it now, but I’m living with that, too. I’m surviving, I’m living.

Tl;dr: how on earth do you bring up symptoms to a professional if they’re not crippling you?