Gender roles

I'm not talking from experience but what is a Christian woman supposed to do when in a marriage the man is not taking the lead?

I have a friend, older than me that's been married for many years.... she's told me how she feels as the man in the relationship because her husband is really passive in certain aspects related to money and now she's been earning more, her husband has been disregarding his financial responsibilities, they have 2 kids and tbh I understand her. Her husband (he converted to Christianity a couple years ago) complains about her not being submissive and too independent which she really is but he has basically made her be the way she is. I used to tell her the bible does command us to submit to our husbands but now i know the full story i don't know what I'm supposed to say. If i tell her to be like that, the husband won't take the lead and will make terrible decisions but if i encourage her to follow her way (it would benefit their kids) I'm afraid I'll be saying something against the bible.

I'm all about gender roles, i believe it comes naturally when the 2 parties do what they're supposed to do but in today's society where so many men are extremely passive it seems impossible to follow that. So, what advice should i give?