The love of my life left

My now ex broke up with me out of the blue. I was in shock and denial initially, and now a few weeks later I am just sad. I am sad for all the things we will never do together, all the plans we won’t complete, every milestone we were so excited about. I just feel sad in a way that I’ve never felt before.

I know it’s early days but I just feel sick, I can’t even imagine doing any of those things with someone else. I feel sick imagining them moving on with someone else.

Last time we broke up, for almost a year, I held out because I knew that they would be back. I was right, we did get back together. This time I want to do the same but I can’t deal with this heart break again.

I know they chase the excitement and playfulness of the honeymoon phase and run when things start to settle. I can’t live my life on a 1.5 yr cycle where when the honeymoon period ends, I get dumped and have to wait for them to come back.

But in the same breath, I want them back so desperately. If they turned around and said they wanted me back tomorrow- I’d say yes immediately.