rant: anxiety with walking

i don’t where to start, but I’ve been really frustrated and embarrassed and stressed about it all.

I use an ID cane and it works best for me as the others hurt my wrist which gets flared ups if overused.

Anyway, so I find it really anxiety inducing on a bad day where my light sensitivity is so bad I can see uneven ground on a bright day. I have a carer with me most the time but none of them seem to understand. They don’t always warn me, they don’t always stand by my side and tend to walk infront of me and expect me to keep up or think I’ll be okay because “I can sort of see” and can do things myself on a good day/shady day. One carer in particular also makes me move off of footpaths or out of others way, which is okay if they’re elderly or have a mobility aide like a wheelchair, of course i will move but she doesnt always guide me carefully off uneven ground. I remind her I cant always see people coming and that people need to move away from me and that I have a cane they can see.

I’ve stumbled behind her and feel anxious when theres steps or curbs she doesnt warn me about.

Most the time people see the cane and move but at times i nearly collide with people and i feel like my cane isnt effective or they dont know what it is as its not the kind that most people recognise? I dont know what the reason is but im so frustrated and embarrassed and I dont know what to do.

Im considering just asking them to hold my hand or arm or i hold theirs. On top of all this I struggle with generalised anxiety and find it hard to speak up and ask for help. Im also still getting used to using a cane since about nearly two gears ago. I’m still struggling to get used to it and having trouble feeling confident while walking with it.

Ive had one training session with all the canes and how to walk while holding onto someone and how they signal to stop or step up, step down etc. Should I do more training?

if you read all this I appreciate it and any advice is welcome thank you