When you’re working on yourself to identify and get rid of ingrained subconscious sexist biases, feelings and behaviours, how do you balance this with self compassion?

Is it possible? I see a lot of people deeply hurt and traumatised by systemic and individual sexism. Sexism is not something that should be accepted or tolerated.

But I also acknowledge that nobody is perfect, or ever can be. We all have been conditioned, socialised and programmed to have sexism deeply ingrained into our barely perceivable subconscious, which motivates all of our mental processes and behaviours. This is not acceptable, and we have a vital moral obligation to work diligently on identifying and eradicating these toxic and harmful parts of ourselves.

But then, is it possible to balance that with self compassion? Isn’t compassion towards sexist/misogynistic men just falling into the same sexist male-centric mindset of coddling men, holding up men’s egos as more important. Isn’t it more important for men to do that work, rather than giving themselves a pat on the back and just accepting that they are deeply toxic and problematic people. Advocating that men just need to be more self compassionate feels anathema to the real requirements of feminism.

Self accountability and self compassion seem very mutually exclusive. I have been told that this is wrong, but I don’t understand how that works, or how men (and I suppose also women who hold sexist beliefs) are supposed to balance those things?