AITA for insisting my friend should warn me about her online BF staying over?

I've been living with two friends, M and S, for over two years. M is one of my best friends, often dates online & long-distance. Her previous boyfriend came from abroad to visit and stayed with us for over a month after we all moved in together. S and I agreed to let him stay, but it became uncomfortable. We were sharing our home with a stranger from another country, which felt risky to us. They eventually broke up, which upset M enough to go on meds, but she got better and moved on. Fast forward a year, M started dating another man from a different country she met on Tinder during a business trip. Initially, he treated her poorly, causing her distress. S and I supported her until she decided to break things off, claiming he was toxic. A few weeks later, she revealed that she hadn’t actually broken up with him and had visited him twice, hiding it from us because she thought we wouldn’t approve. As a friend this didn't seem very healthy (whyever would she feel the need to lie about it? sus) and gently expressed my concerns, but told her I would always support her. Now, he’s planning to visit for a few weeks, and while M was excited, she didn’t mention where he’d be staying. Given our history, I thought she would inform me if he was staying at our place. I was wrong. S told me M had arranged for him to stay with us. When S suggested M should talk to me, M dismissively said, “that's life” and didn’t reach out. I texted M to ask when she planned to inform me, and she replied that she didn’t think she had to because it was "obvious, where else would he stay?". I found it disrespectful that she went ahead with this without telling me, especially knowing I wasn't comfortable with the idea. She accused me of overreacting, claiming she had informed us (she did-about his visit, not his stay) In the group chat S backed me up, but M insisted she communicated everything, sharing screenshots of his flight ticket—missing the point that we were upset about him staying at our place, not just coming to the country. Eventually, M said she was done with us and left the chat. She came home while I was showering, locked her door, and texted me about her earlier message, saying she didn’t want any contact and implied she would move out, stating: "if this isn't letting you know, I'm crazy. You've created enough intrigue. I'm at peace and I hope you are too." AITA for calling her out? Since moving in, we’ve had many disagreements about coexistance issues, and she also reacted strongly when I mentioned possibly moving out in March due to career changes. M is sensitive and often takes criticism personally, yet just yesterday she expressed her love for me, saying I’m family to her. I wonder if I was too harsh when I said I wished to be informed, but I also think it's fair to want to know if I'm going to be forced through a weeks-long sleepover with a foreign man I don't know. I can't understand how me saying this could lead to ending a long friendship through text. AITA?