AITA for suggesting my friends (22F & 23M) that they should consider an abortion?
Update II: To address some of the comments without going to them each individually, please let me clear some things up.
- I absolutely believe in your body your choice, and I would never force abortion on anyone. I let them know that I love and support them no matter their choice, but I think it's a terrible choice to make.
- We have been friends for over 10+ years and have gone through many ups and downs together. I have invited them to stay with me when they have not had a place to stay, bought groceries & diesel for them when they have been down on their luck. This past year I have set boundaries with them and haven't spend a lot of time with them in person (Although keeping up via message when possible).
- I think if you can't tell a good friend that they may be on a one way trip to endangering a child and everything that comes with it, you're not a good friend.
Update: After looking at all the comments, I have decided to call Oranga Tamariki to voice my concerns and ensure that the situation is at least being monitored. The price of inaction is far greater than the price of making a mistake.
I (22M) suggested to my friends, let's go with "Dylan"(23M) and "Sarah"(22F), that they should consider terminating Sarah’s pregnancy, and now everyone is furious with me.
For some context, both Dylan and Sarah are unemployed, never had a job, and living in... Well basically a tiny cabin with an outdoor loo/shower, not ideal for a baby. Sarah has minor cerebral palsy, and Dylan has a history of hard drug use, including speed and occasional relapses into heroin use.
They recently announced their pregnancy to everyone on social media. Wanting to have a serious conversation, I invited them to my house for dinner. During dinner, Sarah asked for a glass of wine. And said something along the lines of, “A few drinks now and then won’t hurt the baby, especially this early on.” That really angered me, but I kept my mouth shut until the end of dinner (But absolutely did not give her any wine!).
After we finished eating, I told them I would like to discuss something very important with them. I said that I cared about them and always want to see them have the life they want, but I think they’re not ready to be parents right now. I suggested that they consider terminating the pregnancy and waiting until they’re in a better place in life, when they have jobs that could sustain a family and live healthier lifestyles.
...They both lost it, stormed out, and even broke my front window as they left the driveway. I tried to message them and apologise, but they ignored my messages for two days. Then out of the blue Dylan finally texted me, accusing me of worshipping Satan??? and trying to destroy their Christian values by suggesting an abortion. He said they would never get an abortion, and I was now unwelcome in their home. I replied and told them that I wasn't trying to force anything on them, and was only trying to offer heartfelt advice from a friend. Another day goes by and after a lot of messages from my family, I found that they also posted about me on social media, claiming I tried to force them into having an abortion.
Now, my phone is blowing up with messages from my friends and family (most of whom are very religious), calling me terrible for even suggesting abortion. Most are trying to remind me that other people have different circumstances to my own and that "god has blessed them to have this baby, and I do not know better than god's plan".
I thought I was being a good friend by pointing out their situation and suggesting what I felt was the best option, but now I’m questioning whether suggesting an abortion to my friends was selfish and from a place of privilege.
AITA?